Thailand (new update at last!)

Sorry there has been such a long absence…haven’t got round to writing this blog until now – mainly due to idleness! As a result, this update will be a bit vague (and potentially less loquacious) than previous attempts but I’m sure you’ll all get the gist of our whereabouts…

24/10/06
Smooth flight from Luang Prabang to Chiang Mai, so no tails to tell. As soon as we hit the ground we felt as if we had been transported to another world (or at least continent)…a shuttle bus whisked us off to a ‘normal’ sized airport (as opposed to landing right in front of Laos’ Dr’s surgery equivalent). Thailand is so much more developed than Laos and to begin with we felt a bit lost in a bustling city (although in reality Chiang Mai is a small, reasonably quaint development!) To recover from the modern stresses of life that we had been bombarded with, we decided to treat ourselves to a Thai Massage – BIG MISTAKE!! This pain endurance test should be renamed ‘Full Body Pounding’ (Natalie, if law doesn’t work out I have found you the perfect vocation – you have the right potential for this profession if my memory serves me correctly!) We thought massages were meant to be relaxing! Anything but! I was biting my lip for the entire hour, whilst Wayne was crying out in pain (much to the amusement of both our masseurs) as a sadistic Thai woman walked over his back. They must have pulled every bone out of place. Never again!

25/10/06
Thai Cooking Class. This was a pretty fun day – we were in a group of 4 and visited the market to buy fresh produce before cooking (and eating) five dishes each (favorites included Green Thai Curry and Chicken Coconut soup). So, we fully intend to treat all of you to a Thai feast on our return. After explaining the tortures we had endured the previous day to the other couple on our cooking course, they advised us to try a foot massage, which is apparently so relaxing you can fall asleep. Upon exiting the second massage parlor (which we had sworn never to go in again) Wayne proclaimed ‘me and massages don’t work– I’m NOT doing that again, you can go on your own next time’. Verdict: not quite as bad as a full body pounding, but definitely NOT relaxing. Wincing is a better description.

26/10/06
Another trek! We had planned to do a 2 night/3 day trek in the north, but ever since the flight to Thailand I hadn’t been feeling 100% (a cold that completely knocks you back - yes in Thailand – in 35C heat?!? – maybe my heart is with all of you at home and it contracted the bacteria….ahhhh) Anyway, yes we went on yet another trek – this time we visited a few more ethnic villages and rode an elephant. I was really looking forward to this part, but once we got there I felt a bit harsh – it all felt very immoral and I couldn’t enjoy the experience, despite numerous attempts of telling myself that it was ‘just like riding a horse’. Our elephant was more like a pig – he kept lifting his trunk up to us, begging for sugar cane (like a dog!) We decided to ration him, so he started to wonder off and turned to the jungle in search of a light snack (pulling down half a tree!!) the trek also involved bamboo ‘rafting’ – all a bit lame – more like floating down the river on a lilo (no rapids )
27/10/06
Flew into Bangkok’s ‘brand spanking new,’ 26-days-old airport, which is MASSIVE – felt like we had arrived back at terminal 4 (apart from the stifling heat!) Decided to give the infamous Khao San Road a try and the rumours are true – it’s a tourist haven: lively, bustling and ridiculously commercialized, but very cool (Wayne attempted to get dreds – not so cool - Claire it was Wayne NOT me – can you imagine!! Fortunately they told him his hair was too short – phew!) We shopped in the dirt cheap market and lazed around the busy pool (our first one since Nha Trang, Vietnam!)

28/10/06
Sight-seeing day: Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew, via the express boat (river and canal network). Lived up to its name: very grand place, but a complete rip off as we couldn’t go inside. It was just too hot that day, so we gave up on our ‘cultural’ attempt and went back to chill out in our air-con room (luxury!)

Only thing to add about Bangkok is that their booming sex industry is extremely evident and fed primarily by old western men. More worryingly, ladyboys seem to outnumber ‘ladies’ in the prostitution/waitressing (interchangeable as most waitresses in any restaurant or bar, are in fact prostitutes) profession – do these men know who they are perving on – do they even care?!?!. The whole thing is very in your face – Wayne has been offered numerous unrepeatable ‘shenanigans’ in the street whilst I have been standing next to him!! It’s obscene! We decided enough’s enough and booked a ticket ‘outta here’ for the next morning…

29/10/06
…Kanchanaburi (130km west of Bangkok) is in a really scenic location (see pics – when I can load them on – this computer won’t let me) but is famous primarily because of the ‘Bridge on the River Kwai’ and Death Railway. Checked into a really pretty guesthouse (small bamboo bungalows facing gorgeous gardens) but it’s a ‘little’ basic (cold water, non-flushing toilet?!? Yuck.)

30/10/06
Visited the Thailand-Burma Railway Centre, which is an excellent contemporary museum/research centre. It was really informative and gave a non-bias account/explanation of Death Railway: why it was built (alternative supply route), why there were so many deaths (16,000 Prisoners of War) etc etc… Japanese engineers estimated that it would take about 5 years to complete the railway, but the army forced the POWs (many of which were British) to complete the 415km railway in just 16 months!! (18 hour shifts were not uncommon, 7 days a week). The Bridge was only in use for 21 months before the allies bombed it in 1945. After the museum we walked around the immaculately cared for Allied War Cemetery (half of which is filled with British graves, most in their 20s/30s – so sad).

In the afternoon we caught a truck to the long-awaited ‘Tiger Temple.’ This forest monastery is a growing tiger orphanage, and cares for tigers that haven’t developed enough instinct to survive in the wild as hunters (although plans are now in place to train their offspring for an eventual return to the jungle). We arrived at the temple and were greeted by a sign reading ‘red, orange and yellow make tigers angry’ … f***ing fantastic – they could have warned me BEFORE - at the guesthouse (where we had arranged transportation.) My cleverly constructed outfit chosen this morning, as you will see from the pictures, entailed a bright orange strappy top, yellow bra straps (visible) and yellow/orange shorts. I also anticipated that within 5 seconds of being in contact with these BIG CATS I would earn my final suicide accessory: a pair of bright red, bloodshot eyes. Antihistamines were NOT going to ward off this allergy! Instead, my only means of self defense was a light blue smock (again, see photos) kindly donated by the monastery. Cool and calming blue seemed to do the trick. Unfortunately it was, in the end, my loud chesty cough, as opposed to my anger-inducing colour combo, that provoked the tigers and sparked off a ferocious roar and near attack (luckily they were chained down!!) Whoops. So, a word of warning to anyone intending on visiting this temple: in addition to avoiding ‘warm’ colours, don’t cough!

Before visiting the temple we had got the impression that tigers roam around freely – rightly or wrongly (I can’t decide – caution veers me towards rightly/ethics veer me towards wrongly!) this is not the case. The tigers are in fact on leads/chains. We also got the impression that you could just walk around and approach the tigers, as long as you are with a monk. Instead, due to increased popularity, the once in a lifetime experience has turned into a conveyor belt of tourists. You didn’t get to spend much time stroking the tigers. It was more a case of: ‘stoke, pose, snap and go’. However, it was a great experience – how many times do you get to go and sit next to a tiger and stoke it like a domestic cat?!?

The temple was an amazing place. Aside from the tigers, the temple attracts an array of wild animals from the surrounding jungle. Wild buffalos, cows, hogs, horses, goats and deer all roam around freely…we didn’t appreciate how many animals were present in the grounds until the monks started emptying sacks full of maize along the dirt paths. Hundreds of animals emerged from every direction, attracted by the free food – it was an amazing sight – almost biblical (thinking Noah’s Ark here) as the animals did actually walk in lines of 2/3 according to species (I believe the additional line is a contemporary addition to the biblical story –the only explanation – especially as we are in Thailand – is a line of ladyboys for each species!) As you can no doubt imagine, nature boy was in his element! I think he actually took thousands of snaps – no exaggeration! Fortunately they are mostly on his new toy and you won’t have to endure all of them on snapfish.

A slightly amusing incident to report from the temple (but in confiding this piece of entertainment I realise that I may be condemned by Buddhist Gods): the monks lead the tigers back to their evening retreats (aka cages!) at about 5.30 every day. On this particular evening a tiger decided he wasn’t having any of it and wanted a rest (see photos). As punishment for this act of defiance the tiger was walloped with a massive branch by a temple volunteer. Quite rightly reacting to this blatant physical attack, the tiger leapt up and started sprinting off in the direction of the jungle. The old monk, who had been holding the tigers’ lead, was pulled off his feet and flew mid-air for what felt like 10 seconds before falling ungracefully back down to Earth. The tiger at this point I must highlight WAS ‘free’ (a long hatched escape plan looked like it was finally paying off!) Unfortunately some volunteers chased after him and managed to catch hold of his lead (phew!!) Anyway, with the palaver of a flying monk and a Noah’s Ark rerun we lost track of time and got back to the truck (and 6 unimpressed faces) a little late. Didn’t make any friends on that excursion! Hahaha

31/10/06
Visited:
1. Erawan National Park, famous for its 7-tired waterfall. I think we have become desensitized to waterfalls – seen to many – but it was very pretty. The waters were brilliantly clear and the fish were humungous (about 50cm long!) The smaller fish kept nipping you – bit uncomfortable but bearable: felt like minor electric shocks.
2. Hellfire Pass and the accompanying Australian-Thai memorial project which honors the allied POWs and Asian labourers who died whilst constructing the Thai-Burma Railway. Hellfire Pass is the name given to the largest of the 1000m mountain cuttings (which were carried out using only minimal equipment: hammers, picks, and shovels etc.) By the end of the cutting 70% of the POWs had died, due to exhaustion, malnutrition and various tropical diseases! The conditions were horrific. Various pictures on display show the POWs looking like walking skeletons
3. Train ride on Death Railway – unremarkable...zzzzz
4. Bridge over the River Kwai – not particularly beautiful (especially due to reconstruction) but interesting because of its complex history.

1/11/06
Return to the Western World and this time we embraced it to the max!!! Gave Khao San area a miss and headed for the shopping district. Spent most of the day in the MBK centre (felt like a vertical Milton Keynes – 8 levels!) Highlight was indulging in Western Cuisine – visited the mall’s food court which is super cool. You are issued with a swipe card, where you purchase whatever food you want from an array of kitchens, and then pay for it all at the end: pasta and chocolate waffles – yum! Very expensive (compared to our usual 3GBP meals for 2) but worth every penny. Completed the ‘home away from home’ day with a trip to the cinema….but this was no normal cinema – we opted for the VIP ticket where, for the price of a normal ticket at home, we were given a complimentary drink and snack, a luxurious leather reclining couch with blanket and pillow and table service!! (see pic) VIEWING HEAVEN! (Watched The Guardian – pretty good film).

2/11/06
Shopping mall repeat. So tired and neck/shoulders ache from typing so much, so that’s all im offering for today’s agenda. Off to bed…hope you enjoyed. Haven't checked ANY of this so excuse all spellings/typos xxx